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Mar 3, 20243 min read
The Friends We Made Along the Way, Etc.
I recently stumbled upon a random “rest easy” postmortem on Facebook. A friend was mourning a gone-too-soon colleague and mentor,...
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Jan 23, 20243 min read
On Turning 40
In the summer of 1989, a birthday party was thrown for my dad. But this wasn’t just any birthday party; the reverend was turning 40, so...
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Oct 29, 20233 min read
This Inbox is a Prison
“I’m sorry, but the person you are calling has a mailbox that has not been set up yet. Please try your call again later. Goodbye.” I sigh...
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Sep 29, 20233 min read
World's Okayest Dad
Let me tell you about the time I accidentally unveiled 75% of my bare butt to 100% of a capacity crowd at the Erb Park pool. The waning...
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Aug 25, 20233 min read
(600 Unrelated) Word(s About) Soup
My wife is a teacher. Among many remarkable things her body can do (created two great boys, throws a decent spiral, etc.), it also senses...
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Jul 28, 20233 min read
The Missing Piece to Any Off-Grid Vacation
It’s become a bit of a ritual at this point, and one that I will only watch from a safe distance: our family rents a woodsy cottage for a...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
On the Occasion of the Arrival of my First Two Gray Hairs
On a recent weekday morning while running through the routine where I transform from slovenly caveperson to preening dandy in eleven...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
My Search for the "Burrito in the Sky"
You’ll sometimes hear a lazy and reductive knock against Mexican food that can essentially be boiled down like this: Anyone can do it,...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
When Riding a Bike isn't "Like Riding a Bike"
As familiar idioms go, “like riding a bike” is so universal and randomly ascribed that its value can be easily ignored. Think you can...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
Hi, I'm Coleslaw. You Didn't Even Notice I was Here.
What do you know about coleslaw? Probably not a ton. You’re aware that it’s essentially a cabbage salad, and that it always appears on...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
Allow Me to Express My Love Through This Carefully Assembled List of Songs
On the whole, the bulk of us agree that technological advancement is a good thing. For every societal ill that we can lay at the feet of...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
Take Another Little Pizza My Heart
In 1988, an early Julia Roberts romantic comedy called Mystic Pizza adorably ambled into theaters, depicting an idyllic Connecticut...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
The Travel Philosophy of a Native North Dakotan
Maybe, as you read this vacation-themed issue of Appleton Monthly, you yourself are considering a getaway of some kind. Perhaps you saw a...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
The Ballad of Hamburger Charlie
Quick, off the top of your head, who are the most influential people to hail from our area? There’s certainly Sen. Joseph “Red Scare”...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
Mourning the Loss of a Pet (Who You Didn't Particularly Like)
On an otherwise-nondescript July morning while preparing for work, I noticed that my cat -- name of Boo, seven years old, inveterate...
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Jul 24, 20233 min read
A Spirited Defense of the Cover Band
During last year’s Mile of Music, one of my favorite performers during the whole festival -- and one returning this year, so check your...
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Jul 18, 20233 min read
Every Picture Tells a Story. Sometimes You Hate That Story.
Do you have a personal photo that you wish could not only be erased from the physical plane, but from the memories of all your...
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Jul 18, 20233 min read
Let's Run a Race, She Said. It'll be Fun, She Said.
When my wife and I are on one of our many Sunday drives, we do a fair bit of vocal observation on the various items that cross our line...
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